Welcome to Ballywood chapter 6: "Imagine their babies!"
Plus bonus Shane Filan cameo
Thanks for all the feedback on Emer’s heroic attempt at frugality. RIP boot harnesses! If you’ve any suggestions for what you’d like to see in future Behind The Scenes essays drop them in the comments. Enjoy chapter 6. Does Eoin McPiaras remind you of anyone? …
“Jesus I’m freezing!”
I stamp my feet in front of the Superser heater in the portacabin. Two pairs of socks and my good boots and my toes are still like ice. Luckily John got me rechargeable handwarmers for Christmas so my thumbs aren’t too numb to type. The big party scene at Garbally House sounded glamourous when we were planning for it but now it’s 3AM and I can see why the crew weren’t exactly looking forward to a night shoot. Sadhbh is sitting in my chair rubbing her hands together. It’s okay for all the cast and extras. They’ve been pretending to dance for hours while all of us poor behind-the-scenes heads have been standing around freezing in the huge Garbally ballroom. Why three bachelor farmers would be living in a house with a ballroom is beyond me but with the DJ decks and lighting and hay bales it does look pretty cool.
Suddenly the door swings open and Aubrey comes barrelling into the office with her laptop, clipboards and her good coat in her arms. She’s been coordinating the videographer getting promo footage for social media down the line and interviewing extras. Half the town is over there, dressed to the nines and pretending to swig “champagne” which is actually sparkling water mixed with a drop of soy sauce. Mad Tom got let go by AJ Brandin for finishing six glasses. He might be one of the most celebrated directors in Hollywood but he’s been really narky tonight. I’ve been trying to stay out of the way, swapping emails with America and working on ideas for a team-building day for the cast next week. They’ve already shut down my axe throwing idea for safety purposes.
Sadhbh gets out of the chair and offers it to Aubrey but instead of sitting down, she turns on her heel and heads back towards the door, muttering something about forgetting her iPad over at video village. I don’t intervene. When she’s like this, it’s best to let her work through it. She opens the door and walks slap bang into someone coming in. She and her stuff goes flying. It’s Eoin Mac Piaras looking ridier than ever in his party costume of black trousers and a white T-shirt, a silver chain glinting at his neck. John wasn’t wrong about his biceps. He has a lovely figure.
“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” Eoin scrambles to help Aubrey up, taking both of her hands in his and pulling her to her feet so that her nose is almost touching his. He